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Hose
off the patio or deck, set up the Hawaiian torches, clean up the
barbecue and stock up on food and drink. Winter’s history and
it’s time for a serious swing-party! Good plan and it makes
you want to get down big-time!
Some of our readers are experienced in hosting a swing-party
and adult
dating. However
many are not and they are the target audience for this article. Those
of you who’ve 'been there, done that' might learn something
new.
Loren (my wife) and I have done articles on swinging, but
geared to
intimate sessions with just two couples. The focus of this discussion
is on a much bigger event. We’ve been there, done that, and
our experience can help you plan and enjoy a great
swing-party at your house.
Yes,
folks, it takes advanced planning and a real desire to pull it off.
Good. Loren’s here and she can give us a lot of great
information. You should see the sexy outfit she’s wearing.
LOREN: “Just for you, Dear. What did I
miss?”
TANNER: "Nothing, we’re into planning a great
swing-party and
understanding what it takes to make it happen."
LOREN: “Okay, let’s look at few small
things
not-to-do.”
TANNER: "Ordering three kegs of beer before the RSVPs come in
would be
one of those."
LOREN: “We’ve been that stupid.”
TANNER: "My point exactly. We also wound up with a
week’s
worth of finger-food stuffed in the fridge."
LOREN: “Regarding the matter of alcohol
… be
advised: if you provide booze, beer or wine you cannot charge for it,
it must be free. The cops can get you for selling alcohol without a
license.”
TANNER: "There’s the key; you charge a reasonable
fee per
couple to cover your expenses (not to include alcohol). Guests bring
their own booze. An acceptable fee is about $30.00 per couple, $15.00
for singles. Loren will get more into that aspect later."
LOREN: “Right, I will, but a word about singles
should be
covered here. Think about it … if you allow single men to
attend your party they can and will out number your other guests.
Allowing single females seems hot, but it usually backfires.”
TANNER: "That applies to private, home-parties. The
commercial
Swing-Clubs are another story and we’re not addressing those
here. Why do single females cause a problem at a private swing-party?"
LOREN: “It all depends on the attitude of the other
females
who come to the party with male partners.”
TANNER: "Are we talking jealous here?"
LOREN: “Yes, but it’s basic really. The
couple,
especially, if married, has been together for a while. They have a
rhythm, a feel for each other. Swinging with another couple
isn’t a problem. Introduce a slinky, sexy single-female and
sparks may fly.”
TANNER: "That can kill a swing-party real quick. Okay, single
men at
the party, what’s your take on that?"
LOREN: “It’s a little different animal.
Every time
we’ve placed an ad to have a swing-party and clearly stated
NO SINGLE MEN! We’ve been overwhelmed with single men wanting
to attend the party – can’t they read?”
Loren shakes her head.
TANNER: "That pisses you off, please be specific."
LOREN: “The mail from the dudes who can’t
understand, NO SINGLE MEN! Seems to indicate they’re above
the rule, they’re something special! They offer security
service, a fantastic addition to a threesome. They fail at both offers
and if you allow single men to your private swing-party prepare for
trouble.”
TANNER: Okay, the idea here is to have a nice swing-party in
a private
home and have it be successful and pleasant for all involved. There are
guidelines that work and rules to make the party flow smoothly.
Let’s sidestep for a moment and cover a couple of, what I
would call professionally organized, private, swing-parties."
LOREN: “You’re meaning California and
Texas?”
TANNER: "You got it … lay it out for us."
LOREN: “I’ll start with California, but
remember
your party doesn’t have to be on such a
level.”
TANNER: "The difference is obvious."
LOREN: “This is in the area of the top-ten
swingers-parties.
The setting is a sprawling ranch complex about twenty-five miles east
of San Diego, California. Weekend swing-parties there are well known in
adult circles and you have to be in those circles to be invited.
It’s couples only and the fee is $500.00. That charge covers
all accommodations, food and drink for the entire weekend. You have
access to a pool, sauna, and complete bar and catered food service for
the weekend. All booze is provided upon request. That was the downfall
of the great swingers weekend. The local law couldn’t get the
operators on anything else but selling booze without a
license!”
TANNER: And they shut them down.
LOREN: “Fast – and the law gained nothing
– fines all around and not squat more!”
TANNER: Tell us about Texas.
LOREN: “Sorry … I just can’t
stand the
bullshit that headline-seeking politicians try to dump on us every day."
TANNER: "Texas, Loren, what can we learn from there?"
LOREN: “We spent three years there and learned a
great deal.
I mean Dallas specifically.”
TANNER: "It was great!"
LOREN: “A friend of ours has established a
rock-solid
swinger’s club in his own home. It’s high-end,
organized and very successful. Get this – the charge per
couple is $35.00 and they bring their own booze. There’s a
special singles-night for men and women, usually in the middle of the
week. These folks pay half price, bring their own booze and mix
together as they will.”
TANNER: "Okay, back to reality. What about the novice couple
who would
like to get a swinger’s party going?"
LOREN: “Usually a couple has done some swinging or
has
attended a swing-club. You should have a good idea about swinging
before you decide to open your home to several couples you
don’t know.”
TANNER: "What’s a good way to get educated in the
art of
swinging?"
LOREN: “Go to an adult club that’s well
known and
observe. If you feel the urge, get involved. Another way is to get
involved with a foursome and see how it goes.”
TANNER: "I think you’d know if it’s your
thing
right away."
LOREN: “Exactly. You’ve heard the phrase;
ninety
percent of sex is in the mind.”
TANNER: "I thought that applied to men."
LOREN: “It does, dear. However, some couples get a
hot idea
in their heads because they’ve seen pictures or videos of
group sex and or swing-parties. They fantasize about it and build it up
in their mind. Sometimes fantasy should be left at just that.”
TANNER: "You’re scaring the readers."
LOREN: “I think I’m offering a fair
warning. Give
the idea some serious thought before you jump in with both
feet.”
TANNER: "Sounds kinky."
LOREN: “You’re impossible. What
I’m
saying is; look at the whole picture. Do you really want six-to-ten
couples drinking, smoking, eating and having sex all over your
house?”
TANNER: "Rules, love … you have to have a set of
rules
everyone understands before they come to the front door."
LOREN:
“Excellent point and it’s really necessary if you
want to have a great party.”
TANNER: "Tell us from your experience."
LOREN: “Gladly. Once you’ve decided on
having a
swing-party, start promoting it at least a month in advance and avoid
Friday night.”
TANNER: "What’s wrong with Friday night?"
LOREN: “Nothing, I love it, but most couples have
worked all
day, it’s already six o’clock, they need some time
to wind down. Considering an 8:00 or 9:00 PM party twenty or more miles
away can take the spark out of it.”
TANNER: "So Friday night is out?"
LOREN: “Not altogether, but our experience
indicates less
response for a Friday night swing-party. In fact, the clubs
we’ve attended have cut prices and allowed singles on Friday
nights just to get more people in.”
TANNER: "Two of them have stopped operating on Friday nights."
LOREN: “There it is, apply the facts to your own
party plans.
Don’t try for a Friday night bash, make it Saturday. And,
unless you’re really established as a great
swinger’s host, don’t even consider week-night
parties … they fail every time.”
TANNER: "What about the other rules? We’re running
out of
space here."
LOREN: “Decide if you’ll allow smoking,
if not,
make that clear. If cameras are going to be allowed, make sure you say
so up front. Many swingers don’t want pictures or video and
they will not attend your party. If you do allow photos or video,
respect the wishes of those who decline.”
TANNER: "What else? We need to move on."
LOREN: “Don’t allow drunkenness,
fighting,
arguments, or forced activity of any kind – NO IS NO! That
must be respected. Over book – right, just like the
airlines.”
TANNER: "We learned that the hard way."
LOREN: “We did indeed. Post your party message in
as many
personal ad places as you can. Be specific on how many couples you want
to attend. Ask for an E-mail so you can send more information. Your
response is where you lay out the rules, the date and time of the event
and any theme you might have in mind. This is where you request an RSVP
and a MUST phone call (give your phone number in an E-mail only) NOT in
the ad you place. If fifteen couples respond and you can handle only
ten – let it go; you’ll only get about five couples
to actually call you to get directions and two of those won’t
make it. That’s how it is, people go on and on about being
swingers, but when you get to the bottom line, they’re full
of beans!”
TANNER: "We’re being up front here because
we’ve
'been there, done that'. We don’t mean to put a wet blanket
over your swing-party, just understand what you hope to undertake. As
Loren suggested, themes work, we know that first hand."
LOREN: “Holiday themes are obvious, make costumes
optional
(some people won’t go to the trouble). For a non-holiday bash
come up with something kinky and plan on decorating to reflect the
theme.”
TANNER: "Sweetheart, we have to wrap."
LOREN: “I suggest a month of posting ads before the
event.
Post to as many personal ad sites as you can. We know Sexy ADS works.
We hosted a fantastic swinger’s-party last October with a
Halloween theme. We followed that with a Thanksgiving theme
and both were a great success.”
TANNER: "The Halloween party was a major blast. However, the
Thanksgiving theme proved to be an absolute turkey fest."
LOREN: “Funny. There’s a lot more to show
and tell
in regard to swing-parties. Plan your party with care and attention to
details.”
TANNER: "Thanks, Loren. I'm sure our readers will be much
better
prepared now that we have had this little chat."
Take care,
Brandon Tanner
>
